1/31/11

This isn't my first foray into blogging. I've actually been blogging (though it wasn't called blogging yet) since 2002. My old blog is now defunct. I guess it was too much pressure to have all my friends reading what I was writing. This time I prefer to remain anonymous.

I just finished reading a book called Miss Invisible by Laura Jensen Walker tonight. It gave me the idea to start this blog. In fact, the reading group questions in the back gave me the itch to start this blog. The book was about a larger woman trying to fit in in a look-obsessed world. She struggles with her image and finding a man who loves her for who she is and not what she looks like.

I totally get that. I'm a larger woman. I don't like saying the word "fat." In fact, I hate it. The thing is, even though I am a larger woman, it doesn't bother me. I guess I'm fortunate, though. I'm young (mid 20s) and I have struggled with body image in the past. I always compared myself to my best friend, T. I mean, she was a size 3/5. How the hell was I going to compete with that? I spent many nights crying when the guy I liked decided he liked her better. It sucked.

The thing is, I'm not supposed to be a small woman. And I've accepted it. I've got big bones and curves. Is that bad? I don't think so. I'm me, stretch marks and curves and largness and all. It's just who I am. And I'm fine with that.

Luckily, I've found a man who does love me for who I am. He's helped me realize that I am beautiful. He tells me all the time that I'm cute and beautiful and (my favorite) lovely. He even tells me I'm sexy.

So, to all you chicks out there who are bigger than a size 14, I say you are beautiful.