Ho, ho, ho.

I feel like a whore. And, according to my ex, I kind of am. And I can't even argue with him because I've been sleeping with another guy. I feel like I'm cheating on my ex with this other guy. But I've already been through this in a previous post.

Moving on. Friday evening W and I hung out again. Which obviously means that we had sex again. And it was different this time. The first time was (for him, of course, since I was empty) purely physical. The second time felt different. Then, on Saturday, I had some errands to run. Some shopping and I had to go to work to make sure that I hadn't left the hot glue gun on. (Visions of the building burned to the ground were etched in my head.) Anyway, I wanted some company, so I called W to go with me. He had texted me that morning and said he had something important to talk to me about. I asked him what he needed to talk to me about. He said he wanted to do it face to face. So we're riding to work and I asked him what he wanted to talk to me about. He said he just wanted me to know I was a good person and he cared about me and wanted to cheer me up. I was like, "okay."

This is a long story for not even getting to the point yet. We went out to lunch after I finished at work. It was nice sitting around and chatting. We talked about sex and how the sex the night before was good. Afterwards, we go back to his apartment. We sit around talking. He mentioned then that, if he wasn't talking to some other girl or trying to talk to some other girl, that he would see where we would go. As in relationship-wise. I'm like, "um... We're just friends."  So we're talking and he looks at me and asks me to kiss him. I say, "No. We can have sex, but we can't kiss.. We just can't." Probably because I've seen Pretty Woman many times and it was her rule in the movie. We talk some more and he starts telling me about his past and some painful memories. We're lying on the bed together, cuddling. We're talking abbout trust and how we trust each other. We're moving closer and closer. And, God dammit, something in me wants to kiss him. So I move to kiss him and he rejcts me. I ask him why. He says because when he went to kiss me before I didn't want to. I tell him to just kiss me. And he does.

That was a long paragraph. So we're kissing and he tells me that the night before he put emotions (which was forbidden) into the sex. I said I did, too. We lie around and kiss and stuff. Then, of course, we have sex again. And it was good. Really good. Really really good.

There's more to this story, but I'm tired. To be continued.